Bounce

2012-01-17T20:28:00.001+08:00

It's irritating that my thoughts dont matter to the world, not even to my friends. It just sucks to the max. I think my thoughts are largely valid, though not well supported. I am entitled to opinions and i expect nothing less than coherent arguments. it's not fair...

classy but badass

2012-01-17T00:57:00.001+08:00

it has been more than a month since I last blogged. pretty long huh? haha no need for apologies no one reads this anws, right? feels sad tho writing to myself online. kinda wished my thoughts were read and maybe shared with the world but I'm too young and insignificant to do such things.

which got me to thinking; is it really cos I'm too young and insignificant that I can't reach out to the world? share my thoughts and what nots? or is it cos I don't try? or is it becos I don't believe in myself? which is pretty ironic considering the fact that I like to pride myself..interesting now don't you think? *i seriously feel like I'm talking to myself, perhaps such is the case*

updates updates, let me see...well my birthday obviously didn't go as well as I thought it would! but I was contented. a small gathering with the people I love or as one would say, awesome company, and great food surely set the tone for what I would deem as satisfactory (or slightly above it). yea I expected more but I am not a mean person. of course I understand that we had just ended one of the major examinations in our lives and I couldn't possibly ask for more. but the surprise was good though! haha good plans good minds great intentions! loved it!

at this point I would like to point out that this will be a lengthy post. time check 1.04 am. probably gonna be posted tmr afternoon since by the time I'll be done the connection's probably dead. it's okay, doesn't really matter now does it? *laughs*

besides that, my Malay friends deserve due credit for managing to surprise me twice for my birthday! haha even though it was wayyyy past my birthday I still think it was nice and thoughtful of them to have planned it for me :)

thank you everyone for the lovely birthday! though if I were to be completely honest you guys will hate me for it. thus I shan't! but I will not lie. it was awesome and I feel blessed to have met all of you kind souls who are very thoughtful.

the disappointment comes from my part sadly. I did not get what I wanted for my birthday :/ largely my fault. hahaha I didn't tell anyone what I wanted, I merely gave hints and it wasn't obvious anyways..but it's okay. I am specialised in dealing with disappointments. deal with it every year when I choose to let people in and then they just take advantage. oh no one in particular, im just saying. (sucks to be you if you think I'm referring to you cos chances are that I really am!)

anyways, I remember one particular person promising to get me smth absolutely awesome (as I would remember it to be put that way) for my birthday. This was promised during May maybe? oh I wouldn't want to remember..as the Malays would say it 'Bebual World'. I hope you do not chance upon this blog. becos I would hate for you to know what's happening in my life *partial lie, maybe not anymore in the future, time will tell!* dear friend, I want you to know it sucked to be me to have known you. to have gotten all the wrong signs and to be so hopeful for something that wasn't meant to be. what I did, I feel like a fool. I swear I was nothing short of sincere in our friendship, and I promise the only thing I ever tried to do was to get closer to you. you were a mess, all I wanted was to help. but noooo you took advantage of the way I felt about you. feelings faded along the way but memories don't. I took your words seriously and I wanted to prove you wrong about people in your life who would only be there temporarily. honestly, I wanted to be that one friend who wouldn't be a temporary friend..I always have a point to prove and I always make sure it's worth it, but you made me regret that I ever wanted to help. I cared too much and I got hurt in the end. it sucks, really. when all you ever had to do was pretend to be nice and all I did was help you. it sucks. I wish I could forget everything you said even if it meant nothing to you cos it meant something to me. and you lied. you lied your ass off about everything. I just hate it when people lie to me about their life. I don't mind of people lie to me about where they are who they are dating what they are doing but you don't lie about your life. I am too trusting, pardon me I was. thanks to you i don't think I'll ever be that silly girl again. it's pretty obvious who I'm talking about at this point..I just hope one day I will get to see you and you'll be doing well and I will too and I hope when that day comes I'll be over all the shit you made me believe.

moving on..I don't really wish to talk about the people who dislike me. they're not worth my time. so if you're reading this (I wish you do!!) I hope you know I have a few rules in life. I'll write them down one day but for now here's what they are:
1. I don't usually give second chances Rationale: because once the trust is ruined, nothing will ever be the same again.
2. when I give second chances, 99.9% of the time it doesn't last.
Rationale: I don't trust people the second time. what, you expect me to be vulnerable again so you can fuck me over twice? no bitch I don't do that.
3. I don't steal friends.
Rationale: I'm classy but in a badass way.
So there you have it. Some excerpts I would like to call it. Haha pretty simple hope your complicated mind can understand it, I mean comprehend..oh whatever floats your boat :)

Other than that there's really nothing. MOE rejected my application cos it was wrongly done..still waiting for a reply on how I fix it though, been waiting pretty long..but it's okay. I don't think I wanna teach :/ no really I wish I could teach for free.

For this post, perhaps I have written too much..but who reads this crap anyways? it's just my opinions and it doesn't matter. who am I to the rest of the world? someone ranting about life on a site that allows for more than 140 characters (hint: it's a bird!) haha

I honestly think my thoughts are interesting and worth reading, maybe you feel the same way, or worse, maybe slightly amused. but then again we become old news and new things are more worth evaluating than this crap so..let's just leave it at this. I suck at goodbyes anyways! haha will try to blog soon! have so much thoughts and ideas that no one cares about and this is the best place to express them all! goodnight! I mean good-whatever-time-period-of-the-day-it-will-be-when-I-post-this-tmr :)

2011-12-17T17:07:00.002+08:00

Just read an article about the first Malay man to ever have a gay marriage. Such disgrace. It really reflects a lot about what our society has become. How low we've gotten ourselves. Hey, i'm not being stereotypical about this. out of many people i've met, its safe to say that im probably one of the most open minded people. i mean i dont mind being friends with gays or lesbians but when it comes to marriage of them, man, shit just got real. it's against ALL religions (safe to say) these gay marriages, or specifically marriages of the same gender. and changing gender is out of the question here people. i mean, i cant help but feel sad, and disappointed that society has come to this. yea i know i say fuck society and their judgements shit but i just cant deal with this tragedy of gar marriages. just, no. seriously. i feel sad.

it shouldnt be this way. its a serious matter. i mean i do have some feelings for pretty girls but it is against my beliefs and religion and against my God's rules to be in a relationship with another woman, thus if feelings ever develop, then i must, and i will engender all efforts to fight the urge. and God forbid, i fail at that! i mean, do the right thing la, dont be stupid. what kind of message are you trying to show the world? love is louder than anything? really?

thats just plain stupid. yeah, ok. gay marriages. would you parents support it? if they would please ignore me. but if they do, then seriously someone explain to me how the hell is love louder than anything, when you choose to ignore your parents advice to marry someone of the same gender? explain to me now la.

this world is so fucked up, i just wonder how im gonna get by.

Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved

2011-12-11T21:50:00.002+08:00

it's not always rainbows and butterflies, its compromise that moves us along.

what if im the girl with the broken smile? who cares?

tap on my window knock on my door i wanna make her feel beautiful

2011-12-11T21:48:00.002+08:00

hi i'm sad and i dont know why. no pms i swear i just ended mine. a year ago i said studies would get in the way of my happiness and now with it out of my life, i dont see why i shouldnt be happy. i wish i lived with my bestfriend. i wish other people didnt exist. i wish boys didnt exist. i wish i didnt exist. its like i just lost it man. lost it, everything. i dont like whats gg on in life right now.

you know what? fuck it. no one reads this shit anws. i might as well fuck myself cos no one's interested. FUCK THIS.

21 what?

2011-11-19T01:03:00.001+08:00

hahaha why do i feel like my 18th birthday is gonna suck? 21st nov is the end of my a's, the start of my life. my birthday! hahaha idk i dont wanna expect too much i mean i know my friends are busy but 21st nov comes once in a year. its gonna be sad cos 1. brother's not home 2.econs 3.no meet clara or malay ppl 4.not celebrating it on my birthday and most important of all, it sucks to have yr birthday after a's, esp when you know you've screwed it up pretty badly :( i dont deserve it this long break, but no use being sad over whats done now. might as well enjoy before shit repeats itself..oh well. haha i dont want monday to come. i want to sleep but im mugging. guess what time is it?! 1 am, no afternoon sleep this will hopefully be my last, insya-Allah. if not, theres always next year...